Among other public buildings in a certain town, which for many reasons it will be prudent torefrain from mentioning, and to which I will assign no fictitious name, there is one ancientlycommon to most towns, great or small: to wit, a workhouse; and in this workhouse was born; ona day and date which I need not trouble myself to repeat, inasmuch as it can be of no possibleconsequence to the reader, in this stage of the business at all events; the item of mortality whosename is prefixed to the head of this chapter.For a long time after it was ushered into this world of sorrow and trouble, by the parishsurgeon, it remained a matter of considerable doubt whether the child would survive to bear anyname at all; in which case it is somewhat more than probable that these memoirs would neverhave appeared; or, if they had, that being comprised within a couple of pages, they would havepossessed the inestimable merit of being the most concise and faithful specimen of biography,extant in the literature of any age or country.Although I am not disposed to maintain that the being born in a workhouse, is in itself themost fortunate and enviable circumstance that can possibly befall a human being, I do mean tosay that in this particular instance, it was the best thing for Oliver Twist that could by possibilityhave occurred.

The fact is, that there was considerable difficulty in inducing Oliver to take uponhimself the office of respiration,-a troublesome practice, but one which custom has renderednecessary to our easy existence; and for some time he lay gasping on a little flock mattress,rather unequally poised between this world and the next: the balance being decidedly in favourof the latter.

Now, if, during this brief period, Oliver had been surrounded by carefulgrandmothers, anxious aunts, experienced nurses, and doctors of profound wisdom, he wouldmost inevitably and indubitably have been killed in no time.

There being nobody by, however,but a pauper old woman, who was rendered rather misty by an unwonted allowance of beer; anda parish surgeon who did such matters by contract; Oliver and Nature fought out the pointbetween them.

The result was, that, after a few struggles, Oliver breathed, sneezed, andproceeded to advertise to the inmates of the workhouse the fact of a new burden having beenimposed upon the parish, by setting up as loud a cry as could reasonably have been expectedfrom a male infant who had not been possessed of that very useful appendage, a voice, for amuch longer space of time than three minutes and a quarter.