The Ersatz Elevator

Dear Customer, Like the previous tapes in A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, there is nothing to be found in this narration but misery, despair and discomfort.

This time, Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire encounter a darkened staircase, a red herring, some friends in a dire situation, three mysterious initials, a liar with an evil scheme, a secret passageway and parsley soda.

I have sworn to record these tales of the Baudelaire orphans so the general public will know each terrible thing that has happened to them, but if you decide to listen to something else instead you will save yourself from a heapful of horror and woe.

With all due respect, Lemony Snicket