Fear 2 Faith: Our Journey Through Mesothelioma

I never expected to enter the frighteningworld of cancer.

Lannie had always been whollyhealthy. He rarely even had a cold. He was alifelong nonsmoker with no known cancer risks. Our two children werelaunched and doingwell. Lannie had retired;I continued to workfull-time teaching nursing.

God blessed uswith wonderful grandchildren. Life was calm,peaceful, and fulfilling. Sonothing, absolutelynothing, prepared me forthe shock of beingsuddenly catapulted intothe horrific world ofhelping my husband battlethe very deadly cancercalled mesothelioma (meso).

Our peaceful livesof Saturday afternoon college football games,babysitting our grandchildren, and doingwhatever abruptly ended with these words: Imafraid your husband has lung cancer. As I struggled to cope, I found myselfteetering between faith and fear.

I wanted myfaith to be strong enoughto drive away anyfear.

Surely, if I were a strong enough woman offaith, I wouldnt be afraid, would I?

Prayerbecame my lifeline as I opened my heart and soulto Him. I invite you to follow me through thisjourney. I am a registered nurse, so you maythink that my nursing knowledge must haveenhanced my coping ability and lessened myfearit didnt.

I felt frightened, overwhelmed,and lost. However, I recognize that my nursingknowledge helped me navigate the complexpathways of the confusing medical worldand provided a certain quality of care for myhusband that someone who is not a nurse wouldprobably struggle with.

I am thankful for mynursing knowledge. Come with me as I share my journey ofcoping with my husbands cancer as well as mypersonal journey of growing faith through fear. My prayer is that my words will comfort andinspire hope for anyone who is facing a serious,life-threatening illness.

Our journey involvesbattling mesothelioma; yours may be a diff erentdisease.

Th e disease doesnt matter; the battle isthe same. I pray that someway, somehow, you winyour battle.