A new paperback from this hysterically funny writer: certain to cause gales of merriment to surge through schools everywhere.

Theo Lyzzick - one of Nature's non-sporty types - thought the end of the world had come when he found himself Third Man in for cricket and having to face Meltzer's body-liners.

But this was to prove only the first step in his nightmare involvement with a foul-mouthed parrot, a retired music-hall comedian and a pair of criminals. And his bizarre adventures are further complicated by the lunatic obsessions of the Headmaster, of Sergeant-Major Dubbins, and of the groundsman, Willowherb.

To emerge in one piece is as much success as Theo can reasonably hope for.