Don't let it show

Randy is not a writer, nor does he pretend to be one.

This is his life story. He strived to keep it as truthful as possible recalling incidents as they accrued.

There may be some miss spelled words, improper use of grammar, and some obscene language in this book.

He needed this book to convey the way in which he talks and also his feelings.

Randy is a boy with a very troubled childhood craving to find out who he is in this world.

This journey begins with a baby fighting for his life to only wish at times he had lost that fight. You will snicker and weep reading the many diverse types of circumstances he has faced. A boy struggling in terror that he may be gay. At a youthful age converting to Jehovah Witness with the added burden this puts upon him.

Difficulty with parents as most adolescents do, but most teenagers don't receive a busted nose from it.You will follow the bewildered boy as he becomes an even more confused adult.

Why he gets married at an early age and then has a son.

Far-removed from the perfect family as it all falls apart.

You will sense his pain as he describes the heart wrenching anguish of coming out as a gay man, and how it's one of the toughest things a person could do. Randy is honest about the sex obsession he's experienced for many years, and of the bad relationship decisions he has made.From being tossed out of a Religion and rejected by friends and family.

The battle with the courts to be able to visit with the one thing that meant the most to him. Losing family, friends, and even pets to death. The challenges of a machinist in a blue collar world as gay and HIV+.

Finally, to find himself battling with the decision of suicide.This is a journey Randy had to take before he was able to find contentment.

A voyage to let go of the past, and more valuable, to find the ability to forgive.

Only then was he able to start to live.